Sunday, December 30, 2012

2012: A Banner Year

I have had more deep deliverance and healing this year than any other in my life to my knowledge.  By Their immeasurable love and grace, the Godhead enabled my deliverance from big-time family issues like never before.  They have freed me from the stronghold of personal demons (literally), from emotional bondage in all areas of family (including parental sin and mistakes); by Their supernatural power I've undergone spiritual heart surgery and spiritual brain surgery all to equip me to walk in Their merciful designation of me to the pastorate this year. 

My gracious! What is up with 2012?

When I asked the Lord if there was a star next to 2012 in my timeline in Heaven, He laughed with me, knowing how blown away I've been.  But, as always, God sees the succinct question and wonderment on our hearts we cannot sufficiently articulate; so, He said to me,
"Daughter, what you're really wondering about is the acceleration of these things in your life. Deliverance you have experienced for years now, but never at this mightily accelerated rate, and that's what your heart is really wondering about.  It's linked to your obedience concerning (Henry)."
[Note: I've changed the true name of the man referenced out of respect for his privacy.]

In Fall 2010, God linked Pastor Henry and I to His will for us to become man and wife.  Henry had been unequally yoked for 20 years and was divorced about three years when we met.  There was a teenaged daughter from the marriage.  We met online and corresponded lengthily, virtually every day.

God helped Henry with emotional issues and work situations as an executive; Lynette and my Pastor ministered to him in encouragements; and God basically returned the two of us to the forum of trusting, loving, friendship.  The Lord asked Henry to come to our fellowship in the spring of 2011 so we could all meet and minister together.  Henry even shared a vision he said God gave him of the day he would be traveling our way; things were looking very bright.  Henry and I had grown quite close and had each professed agape love for one another...

... but then, like a stage curtain, Henry slowly closed his heart from the scene.  By degrees, he backed away from our cheerful, daily correspondence and grew fearful of God's plans. 

The onset of uncertainty in Henry spawned hurt and rejection in me, but Abba's goals are never romance as much as they are redemption.  He does not lend Himself to fairy tales.

He knew Henry was about to back out of everything.  So, in a word through a pastor friend, Abba asked me if I was willing to put aside my personal desires for married relationship to this man and simply pray for him - intercede for him daily so that Abba could salve and bandage his wounds like the Samaritan did for one considered an enemy to his people.

The Lord told me that Henry's emotional and spiritual state was that of a broken, bleeding man in need of mercy and not judgement.  He asked me if I would truly lift him to Holy Spirit's care and custody every day so that he could be healed and given opportunity to shake off all doubt and fear in his life.  God also assured me that I did not have to do this; I could let Henry go his way and leave his reparation in prayer support to God.

The Lord ended the word, however, in a manner I'll not soon forget.  After asking me to count the cost of His request and choose whether or not to obey... after emphasizing that He would not chide or reject me no matter my decision, the Lord said,

The place I Am asking you to go is very vulnerable and extremely sacrificial. 

Honestly, I wasn't exactly sure what God meant by "extremely sacrificial" other than asking me to pray earnestly for someone who had, basically, backslidden.  I will say that, for a few hours, I genuinely considered taking the "easy route" which the Lord assured me would not reap any reprisal from Him - but I knew it was not the true desire of God's Heart for me; I knew Abba wanted me to go for the gusto.  So I allowed myself to hear Holy Spirit's voice speaking to me in encouragements, as always.  He said,
"You know your Abba.  You know He will not let you fail or stumble or ultimately fall or be truly harmed.  You know He will keep you in this place... why not obey Him, and ask for this man's rejuvenation and greater salvation each day?  Why not say 'yes' to what He has asked of you?"
There's no one like Holy Spirit, Saints - no one.

I agreed to obey, and I prayed for Henry every day; I remanded his heart, mind, and emotions to Abba's custody and lifted him in prayer and praise at the start of my private time with the Lord.

Spring came and went without Henry's visit and, though we still wrote a bit, his letters were replete with denials and excuses and fear.  They ebbed to nearly nothing by mid-summer and then, in July 2011 I discovered the sad truth that Henry had remarried his ex-wife.

I won't lie... I was heartbroken.

The next few months were filled with Daddy ministering His healing and truth to me regarding what He was able to accomplish in Henry through my willingness to intercede for him.  Holy Spirit was allowed to access places within Henry's heart and emotions otherwise denied to Him.  Henry's excuse regarding God's love and provision was taken away by my obedience in intercession.  In other words, friends, God was pleased with my agreement even in the face of it dawning on me what He meant by "extremely sacrificial".  Daddy knew back then that Henry was courting his ex-wife and soon would remove himself from all situation of redemption in his life.  God knew Henry would return to his vomit, and he did.

That completes the circle in answering why Abba's redemptions and deliverances and healings in me have been so greatly accelerated this year.  Obedience.

Abba saw to it that I received from His hand what I willingly gave to Henry - MERCY.
All the prayers and heartfelt blessings Holy Spirit enabled me to lift to Abba on Henry's behalf came pouring back into my heart and life in multiples.  We can't out-give God, and He takes our obedience VERY seriously.  My Abba told me,
"... in your perceptions, you were willing to give away all that I had promised you of life as a wife and a mother with a future in ministry with a man you loved - just because I'd asked you to... Beloved, I do not take that lightly. Therefore, I have rewarded you with the wholeness, health, and healing that you were willing to pray upon (Henry), and I have accomplished within you in nine months that which would have taken five years to consume by normal earth timescale and events.  Amen."
My friend prophetically linked this to the willingness of Abraham to sacrifice Isaac and give all the promises of the blessing of nations back to Yahweh just because He'd asked it of him.  GOD is the true goal and aim and center of our lives, beloved - not the promise or the blessingGOD ALONE.  Hallelujah!

Father God will abundantly reward all those who lovingly and sacrificially obey Him, seeking  His satisfaction and pleasure above all things.  As my mother always told me, "Even if you have to cry - trust Him."

Look where I am now, by the power of His grace!  Look at my delivered heart, Saints!  Look at the immense reward stored up for me in treasured heart and mind and soul and spirit aligned with all God's will for my redemption forever! Look what Daddy has done for His girl!

HALLELUJAH!  And it's ALL BECAUSE OF HIM!  I am bought and paid for by His Holiness and Precious, shed blood!  Indeed, my Abba knows that I love Him, because I obey Him.  He has enabled me to do so by receiving His merciful power and voice in my life and, by that Mercy, I will continue to obey.

As I wave farewell to the absolutely miraculous year of 2012, I do so knowing that the greatest inroad to God's Heart is obedience.  He's asking for that in all of His children. Amen.

Be eternally blessed, Saints.
Daddy's Girl

"... fervent in spirit, serving the Lord."
(Romans 12:11b)