Saturday, December 29, 2012

"The Lord is My Shepherd"

Provision.  It's a nine-letter word that's kicking my tail right now.
Well, honestly, I'm the one doing the kicking... Daddy's just allowing me to be exposed.

Since the Lord governed my release from the secular workplace nearly four years ago, I've been undergoing varying degrees of deeper deliverance.  God has been dismantling my belief systems in all areas not aligned with His, and gently replacing them with His truth. The flesh hates God's holy operatives and, as my twin sister Lynette often says, it fights Him "tooth and toenail" over the replacement of every deceptive issue.

The Best of
A nine-letter word; nine is God's number of completion and, linking the two, by Holy Spirit I can see how this big fat area of struggle regarding His "provision" stands between me and God's desire to bring wholeness and completeness to my life.  Though blocks and hindrances are always difficult to remove, I'm realizing more than ever what an enemy the phrase "my own" has been to the basic evaluation of myself as a human being, let alone as Daddy's girl.

For instance, I was raised to think in largely benevolent, but ALWAYS independent terms. Linked hard and fast to my emotions and those of my advisers was this unwritten list of items I always was admonished to have including, but not limited to:

The Material
My own job
My own money
My own home/apartment
The Emotional
My own thoughts
My own opinions/beliefs
My own imaginations
My own desires/dreams
The Spiritual
My own relationship with God

Except for obeying the admonishments of the Apostle Paul and "pressing toward the mark of the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus", which I file under having my own relationship with God, everything else up there on that list has gotten me into trouble, because the simple truth is that, according to Abba's word, even I am not "my own"!
"Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit Who is in you, Whom you have from God, and you are not your own?  For you were bought at a price; therefore, glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's."  (1 Cor. 6:19-20)
Wow, Sharon... wake up and smell the black-cut tea, babe!

Though God was targeting sexual immorality in that passage, the truth of our bodies in general belonging to Him and not to us applies to every area of our existence.  When I was talking to Holy Spirit during the latest trial of relying on Daddy to provide my rent and other living expenses (which, by the way, He always supplies) I emphasized that I am NOT lazy; as an adult I've always had my own job and my own money and paid all my own bills and been responsible for my own things and made my own way...

See what I mean?  What's the ridiculously recurring phrase in that really annoying defense? Of course, Holy Spirit didn't ascribe any harsh, judgmental superlatives to my voice in this place.  He didn't rebuke me at all, but simply spoke the truth.
"Beloved, I Am your Provision.  Though you couldn't look at it this way, I have supplied all the things you've had need of all the days of your life.  Your provision has not been your own, but Mine.  The selfishness of 'self' has misinterpreted man's way since the beginning of time, but My way is one of provision for you in all the things of your life's daily stresses, thoughts, opinions, obligations, and circumstances.  I hold the keys to your life's advances, not you; and beloved, I have granted you success by Abba's edict and command in and over your life."
When I rebutted to God that waiting for His provision made me feel like a child instead of a responsible adult who could be getting a secular job and supporting herself, I felt Holy Spirit soften... yes, soften and not harden in the face of my thick-skulled resistance.  God knows the difficulties battling us; He also knows we are dust and takes that into loving consideration.  (Thank You, Jesus.)

The Lord looked at me and said,
"That's just the point, beloved... you are a child and, in Abba's eyes, a child is raised to do one thing and that is to depend on his Father completely.  In order for you to walk in the example before My people of total dependence upon Abba, YOU MUST BECOME TOTALLY DEPENDENT upon Him, in every way - especially that of your thinking."
All I could say was Amen.  That hasn't changed.  God has never tried to hide the goal of His processing in trial.  I know the words He speaks to me are unadulterated, for He IS the Truth.

My friends, this is a challenging lesson for me, and the necessity of God's total refit of my emotions and belief systems in this place continues.  I solicit your prayers and testimonies to His greatness and power which are immense, so that His faith can completely encompass the areas of uncertainty in me.  The process of His mercy has a gentle lead on the doubts and instability and pride of the flesh.  By His power, I'm coming along, yielding more and more; for that, I'm grateful.

The abiding truth is and ever will be that,
"The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want." (Psalm 23:1)

[A Prayer for us: Father, in Jesus' Name, I seal the appropriation of every word of truth regarding Your Provision into my own heart and life and into the hearts and lives of everyone being exposed for Your deliverance and healing in this place. I cover these truths with the Blood of Jesus, and thank You for Your powerful Hand of transformation in us to the image of Your dear Son. In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen.]

In Humble Agreement with God's Truth,
Daddy's Girl

"... fervent in spirit, serving the Lord."
(Romans 12:11b)