Saturday, February 9, 2013

Jealousy Rapes the Bottom Line

I'm one of those people who loves the bottom line.  You've probably encountered many of us in life.  We're the folks who want to know the point of a status report BEFORE all the details.  Like when a dear one is sick or in an accident, I want to hear FIRST how they are... then about everything else.  I always yell at the screen in movies when a key character is ill and doctors and/or police or even friends bathe in every other pool of detail on God's green earth before simply telling immediate loved ones HOW THEY ARE.

I'm the type to shout a good report down the hall to the family instead of couching the critical news in silence, making them wait until I get to them when they've been doing nothing but waiting (and crying and praying) all night long.  I don't cater to thoughtless suspense. 

Another comfort the bottom line affords me lies in the area of unconditional love.

The Best of
While I acknowledge the elements of pride involved in wanting people to tell me what I want to hear, my way and in my timing (and Daddy and I are working on that), the unconditional love viewpoint of bottom line issues allows me to go through the hard places in life knowing that God loves me and is going to work me through those issues, no matter how long it takes.  It's of priceless value and worth to me to know that His people are also that way - but not everyone is.  What's worse is, sometimes, the very ones who aren't of that heart and mind are members of your own family or those you've embraced to your bosom as dear friends.  They just don't have the same heart for you - and that truth rips a jagged hole into my emotions that only God can suture, salve, and heal.   The tragic cold and emptiness it carries only God's wisdom and understanding can remove.  With me, Abba works overtime simply answering the question, "why?"

That's always where I end up in situations like these where there is no bottom line of love in the hearts of certain individuals I've embraced.  For me, it's family members - currently, those siblings I've talked about in previous posts.  When I ask the Lord why there was no bottom line of unconditional love in them towards me, invariably, I hear one word consistently:  Jealousy.

I told God that, growing up, I just figured my siblings didn't like me... I never once considered the spirit of murder couching itself in jealousy. My guess is, neither did Abel. Neither did King David regarding his son Absalom and, probably, neither did Stephen before the jealous Council. In all of those instances, though, those who were jealous either murdered or wanted to murder the objects of their ire who, imo, they should have loved and respected and nourished as fellow creations of God, if nothing else.  The Lord means for His unconditional love always to be the bottom line, but jealousy rapes that bottom line with its selfish, fiendish qualities of rejection, murder, and hatred.  That's heartbreaking.

The current situation between Daddy and I involves Him trying to convey the understanding  that His love for me is unconditional, eternally, and so is His love in others who've chosen to follow His whole will concerning me.  Funny how you can know something God wants to communicate to you but still have trouble actually receiving it.

For breakthrough I've turned to Holy Spirit, Who sees and discerns all things, as does the Father and the Son, but Who is my designated emotional "Go-To Guy" in terms of trust and teaching and, therefore, has my attention in ways of counsel and comprehension uniquely His own.  For me, nobody but Abba can fully reach and saturate the "Daddy" places in me; nobody but Jesus can pull my heart to "spousal" embrace; and no one but Holy Spirit can speak to me and reason with me and clarify my understanding based on sheer trust in "friendship".  Indeed, He is the Friend Who sticks closer than a brother.

Holy Spirit explained to me that He will enable me to release the burden I'm carrying, but I must realize it is tied to grief.
"I have delicately sutured the cuts in places where you've left off holding your siblings, beloved.  Now there are more places of healing than there were of wounding, but healing is also a process.  As I cut the tendrils, I will replace them with solid connections of my unconditional love in others who will love you as I've specified and determined by Abba's hand and placement over your life, that you should have those who enjoy you and adore you as He has meant all along.  I will obey His will and command over you, and I will orchestrate in you that symphony of life and love that Abba has intended from the beginning, where the hurts of the past are swept away; and you will remember and understand that it is Abba from the beginning Who has loved you, and that His love in others will abide with you and comfort you always and take the place of those who did not understand you or love you or, most importantly, did not know Him.  You will be a hiding place for fools no longer, but you will release your heart to Him and to His guidance in this place, so that none will trespass the boundaries He has set within you, ever again.  Amen."
I thought about the phrase "hiding place for fools" and wondered why He used such harsh verbiage.  Then my being reverberated with the scripture from Psalm 14, "The fool says in his heart, there is no God.  They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none who does good..." and I understood what He meant.  Those who have embraced jealousy as their friend and lifelong companion have taken foolery to their bosoms and have turned their backs on the one true God.  Then Holy Spirit admonished me, saying - 
"Always ask that I shield you from such an evil place.  Insidious plots and plans are on the hunt for you every day, and I must have your full cooperation to protect you from them.  Relationships are a two-way street.  Never try to protect yourself from evil plans, but leave the full protection to Me.  If you willfully stand in Abba's way, then He cannot protect you."
It was then I realized the soul-ties to my "family" had to be entirely released, and only allowing the Godhead to bring me through to the other side of the grieving process would accomplish this, fully.  Abba, Jesus, and Holy Spirit are my first family, and it is to Them I must continually yield and cling.  Holy Spirit was getting through.  The powerful thing about unconditional love is its value circumvents and transcends the roots of  earthly "family" in every way.  So what if my sisters didn't love me the way Christ says they should love me - Christ's love exists for me anyway and - it's the LOVE I'm looking for, not the DNA!  Siblings fail!  Relatives and bloodlines and humanity fails without the ultimate love of Christ!  The almighty, self-preserving BLOOD OF JESUS is what I'm after... it's what I ALREADY HAVE, and its unfailing love is what I'll never, ever be without all the days that I live and abide in Him!

That's the truth forever, Saints.  THAT'S the bottom line.

In Renewed Hope,

Daddy's Girl

"... fervent in spirit, serving the Lord."
(Romans 12:11b)