Wednesday, October 16, 2013

The Difference Between Sin & Mistakes: Part 2

This is the continuation of what I began sharing in part one of this post:

Literally, one night I stayed awake until dawn watching clips and movies about lesbian relationships... female "couples" meeting and "falling in love" and trying to stay together...

I know now how ridiculously erroneous that was; but, at the time, I was honestly trying to get some sort of foothold of confidence on the subject of relationships in general so I could snap out of the emotional free-fall my flesh was experiencing and obey the Lord.  The flesh always errs.

Before drawing closer to Abba, I had always been one to "bone up" on skill sets and knowledge before a test or trial of any sort; just the fearful, Poindexter side of me (which now is mostly gone, thank God).  So, silly as it sounds, I genuinely thought if I defaulted at least to "what I thought I knew" in terms of relationships, I would have some sort of idea of how to brace myself for what was coming from God.

Unbelievable, but nonetheless true.  Thankfully, in my error - my mistake - Daddy was looking right at my heart.  He did not hold that night against me as sin.  After all, there was no physical indulgence involved... only viewing several snippets of a pattern of relationships most familiar to me in a pathetic attempt to "prepare" for what was coming.

Later, I told the Lord I felt like I had nothing to hold on to in order to obey Him.  I have no idea what was wrong with me, but Abba didn't chide me or even regard that.  He simply told me that all I had to do - all any of us ever have to do - when I didn't know what to hold on to was call out to Him and to His Holy Spirit to do all that I needed and more... to put me in the place of readiness my soul needed to be for Abba's work to begin.  Oh, my goodness; now it seems like such a no-brainer, I have to laugh and shake my head!

I was trying to obey God, but I went about it - totally and completely - in the wrong way.  I made a pitiable mistake, friends - and, to Abba, it was not sin.  He told me so.

Who is like You, O, Lord?  Abundant in mercy, taking pity on Your beloved, and forgiving - with arms absolutely and everlastingly outstretched to restore, refresh, and renew our hope in You!  Thank You that You will not slap us down, ever, even for trying to obey You in our own strength instead of Yours.

Thank You that You are full of compassion; the God Who understands all things, and we bless and praise Your considerate, ever-loving, and ever-kind, Holy Name.


Daddy's Girl

"... fervent in spirit, serving the Lord."
(Romans 12:11b)